31 January 2010

with the sunset forgetting I ever happened...

Happy New Decade!

January has been a mixed bag of wonder; my best friend
Chrysi came over to London for a few days to hang out. As always we didn't get much sleep but our stomach and face muscles sure got a workout from laughing so much. Never enough time though.

It amazingly snowed in London for about two weeks...all lovely at first (Mel and I walked around at midnight in the pure white snow taking photos of the mini-Narnia that was Archway) but lordy then it turns to ice and the panic and stress sets in.
Now I feel even more like a proper Londoner; grumbling about the snow, but really it's the ice I have an issue with.

'now smell the rain of London, it still insists
that we beg for our purity as if we are pure
in the rain of our contentment
as if I can think of this no more....'

It was my birthday mid-January...a lovely week of festivities as a few of my fellow Capricorns had their birthdays that week too. Such lovely gifts and thoughts from everyone, as always I feel so grateful for the love
lies in my life. I still don't feel any older and yet watched in an almost detached fascination as my birthday rolled past and away from me.

It's a little odd spending your birthday with wonderful people who have only known you for a short time. Even odder when you feel like your real birthday is the one that starts Sydney-time.
I guess it's a testament to the fact that try as I may, there is an enormous chunk of my life and large shards of who I am that is tied u
p with that city.

I now have tickets booked to both homelands. Hellas first in mid-Feb because I need my Hellenic hit every six months or so otherwise I become miserable and wilt inside. I miss my grandparents and I am dying to see my father's village in winter! Oh to see Olympus and the Thermaic Gulf again...sigh.

Perhaps it's an affliction for children of the diaspora; that I feel Hellas gave birth to me, but Australia raised me. And so you feel pulled towards both but never really feeling that either is your true true home for too long.

Most importantly I have a ticket back to Oz in April, after two and half years (I am still in sh
ock when I think about this, and my shock is mirrored on people's faces when they consider that's how long i've been away from my family) . I am almost terrified but also so excited to go back and visit the place and people that raised me, to see if all the little changes this new life has made stick or fall away in the Sydney sun and I regress back to that uber-awkward girl. I sure hope not.
I like who I am now better than I ever did before. Not entirely different, just a better version of myself.

(This is a photo of the first London sunset of 2010, from Rosa's house. )

Right now I am listening to Jeff Buckley...not the wallowing that
you might think normally comes with it. Just pleasant and comforting and I'm reminded how 'the sky is a landfill' has such great great lyrics.

'this way of life is so devised to snuff out the mind that moves.....
...throw off your
shame or be a slave to the system'



space invaders!

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